i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
