I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
