if you like me you must not know who I am
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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