At least make sure they are 18
Why
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
