who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
