help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
