Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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