Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
