there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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