If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
