i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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