she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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