so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
