He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
