you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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