Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
