He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just had sex on a roof
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
