party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
