Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
