i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize