How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize