I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
