so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
