I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drake has all the answers
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
