He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
