She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize