My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
