we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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