hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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