Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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