Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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