I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
