I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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