That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
