I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize