fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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