So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
