I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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