the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
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