I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
