He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
