You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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