Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
