Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
