I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
