is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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