tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
