Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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