I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
