Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am one with the molecules
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
