Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have tasted many bathrooms
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
