I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Randomize
