matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
