there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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