i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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