i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
