whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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