That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Actions speak louder than pants.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
